WHY GLASS TEARS?
  THE BATTLE OF THE GLASS TEARS
  THE WOUND
  THE OFFERING; THE SACRIFICE, "PUJA" "TO PLEASE"
  SURRENDER OF SELF
  WHY SEARCH FOR A DESERT TO HOLD A PERFORMANCE OR CEREMONY?
  VALLEY OF THE GODS, SACRED LAND OF THE SOUTHWEST
  TEARS OF SORROW ASSOCIATED WITH NATIVE AMERICAN INDIANS
  THE PURSUIT OF GOLD
  THE TURNING POINT FOR THE VALUE OF GOLD; BEAUTY TO MONEY
  THE GOLDEN FLEECE
  WHY SUCH DISTURBING BEHAVIOR AND ATTITUDE?
100 TEARS IN THE DESERT; TRANSFORMATION
  THE CIRCLE AND STAR SYMBOLS
  ANCIENT ART
  MAKING ART IN THE 21ST CENTURY
OUR LAND: PUBLIC LAND
  DESIGNATING OUR LAND
  WHAT IS LITTER?
  RULES AND REGULATIONS
THE PHYSICAL ALTERATION OF THE GLASS TEARS
SIGNIFICANCE OF BURYING

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WHY GLASS TEARS? Glass is like water and tears, see through and shimmery in light. It is also fragile and breakable like the vulnerability of crying and suffering. A glass tear resembles a crystal, which allows the sprectum of light to pass through it.

THE BATTLE OF THE GLASS TEARS The Battle of the Glass Tears is music by King Crimson (from the recording Lizard) that is inspired by the Pelican stage used in Alchemical development to illustrate the surrender of "self." The Pelican is shown stabbing its breast with its beak to nourish its hungry young with its own blood. The Alchemist must enter into a kind of sacrificial relationship with the inner being, an active working with the soul forces to create true spiritual transformation. One's image of one's self must be changed and given to the developing spiritual self. This is almost invariably a deeply painful experience which tests one's inner resources. Out of this will eventually emerge the spiritual self, transformed through the Pelican experience. The Pelican is a valid image and metaphor of the Christ experience. -Bhagavad Gita, as well as others, refers to an element call the "false ego" or "ego" rather then "self".

THE WOUND The main focus in the origin of 100 Tears Part 1 is the individual, the "self"; messages with a personal viewpoint. While some of the statements in the tears touch on "tears of joy" many are rooted in the notion of loss; statements that characterize a "wound", a traumatic experience, or the feeling of violation. To know the value of a scar, and the pain associated with it, is to recognize the potential of transformation, rebirth and recovery that precludes the notion of total restoration. Experiences such as these can strengthen who we are, guide us on how to be and inform us as to where we are to go. -the wound is power, a portal to salvation or window to the divine -The stigmata, the sacred wounds of Christ, are reported to have appeared on others in past history, such as Bernard of Clairvaux, Francis of Assisi, Clare of Assisi, Catherine of Sienna; individuals filled with devotion and reverence for the divine nature forgoing the safety and predictability of routine. The stigmata is metaphorically associated with the devotion to empathy for all human beings. -As the wizard Dumbledore said to Harry Potter, "Scars come in handy!"

THE OFFERING; THE SACRIFICE, "PUJA" "TO PLEASE" Offerings come in the form of "action" that denote a "surrender" so to create room for the presence of honor beyond the individual; our interconnectedness. Rituals from our ancestors illustrate the purpose and invention of the offering. Indigenous people offered items such as tobacco, cornmeal, flowers, food, fruits, water, small crystals, and riches of earth minerals and gems. In some cultures the sacrum bone was used as vessel for offerings, making reference to our root. Many purify the body as a commitment by bathing, induced sweating and the use of smoke. The events could be a scene set with incense, fire and the sound of rhythm for participatory celebration, or the quiet solitude of mediation. The giver that wishes enlightenment for all sentient beings contributes much to the world; the giver that surrenders the "self" to the notion of one living organism, Earth, contributes much to the world. -To acquire and gain wisdom, and honor the power of nature -To reduce the desire and greed which characterize our relationship with the physical world. -To accustom the mind to giving and letting go -To loosen our sense of clinging to the material -To delight with generous virtue and share the distress of the under priviledge

SURRENDER OF SELF -is a conscious departure from the preoccupation with ego or sublimation of the ego -is a declaration of commitment and prayer for possibility -provides a path where forces unite and power is shared -purifies the mind so the individual ego is merged in the indwelling of omnipresence. -is a sacrificial act to placate negative forces -an act to commemorate a universal and all inclusive story

WHY SEARCH FOR A DESERT TO HOLD A PERFORMANCE OR CEREMONY? -Glass is made of sand (silica), sodium and lime, natural substances which are heated at high temperatures -Glass, like crystal is all natural and eventually would return to nature and referencing the cycle of life, such as the Native American wedding vase which is thrown to the ground to return to earth -A desert is arid and defined by the amount of rain that falls on the land. The tears symbolize moisture. -A journey into barren land references the wandering in the wilderness, a search for deliverance -The desert exposes us to the elements and connects us to "the spirits of the land" -To deposited an event in the landscape that continues to reverberate; to make Holy -Leaving behind something of importance to continue a cycle of reciprocity -Performance causes us to experience the power in symbols, words and movement.

VALLEY OF THE GODS, SACRED LAND OF THE SOUTHWEST Native American belief is that the entire landscape is sacred. No one place is more sacred than the other. Sacred land is that which has strong and wild energy. Places of worship are found all over in natural formations of wonder. -The location is near the four corners where Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah meet, a point of unified energy. -The location is near the Navajo mountain [Nahasdzáán], "head of the earth," a large sacred dome. -The location sits on the Nasja Mesa which is home to the spirit of the owl. An owl can signify moon energy, ancient wisdom and helpfulness, protection, newly released soul, powers of prophecy, and intuition that connect it to death and the spirit realm. -The Gods of Valley of the Gods, are Changing Woman and her army. Changing Woman is a beneficent, ever beautiful female deity of Native Americans of the southwest. In variations of the myth she is said to be the daughter of sun and earth (two), formed from a piece of turquoise (blue). Changing Woman symbolizes the all connected and all renewing of nature--a wholeness. She dances gracefully, utilizing beauty, balance and harmony, to honor the endless cycles of life; changing at will between a young girl, a fertile woman and wise elder (triad). One day she received inspiration to go up on a hill and build a wickiup with an eastern entrance so the first rays of the sun would strike in the morning. One of the sun rays, in collaboration with "Dripping Water", went into her and she conceived twins to become slayer of monsters. The myth of Changing Woman lends itself to the double aspects of the feminine. In the Navajo ceremony of the Kinaalda a young girl upon puberty becomes Changing Woman and hold her power as sacred. -The location has rich desert earth, not fine white sand, but rather a red coarse crumbling of rock--it could have been mars!

"A strong and beautiful owl flew into my chest" -Ragdale series, 1999

TEARS OF SORROW ASSOCIATED WITH NATIVE AMERICAN INDIANS All men are created equal, and that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, among these the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" -Apache Tears: Small natural volcanic glass, translucent obsidian drops, found in the southwest and said to be tears of sorrow that occurred when Apache Indians leapt from the cliffs of a high bluff to their death rather than face death at the hands of the white man. The grief-stricken women wept over their bodies and as their tears hit the ground they turned to gemstone. Apache Tears are said to relieve grief and sadness. -The Trail of Tears: The killing, enslavement and land theft from Native Americans began with the arrival of the Europeans. Under President Andrew Jackson it became federal policy through the 1830 "Indian Removal Act" to force Native Americans into the frontier. The desire for gold that was discovered in Georgia caused the white communities to turn on their Indian neighbors. In the winter of 1838 14,000 Cherokees were herded from their southeastern homeland and forced to march 1,200 miles from Georgia to Oklahoma. About 4000 Cherokee died from exposure, hunger and disease. The route became known as "The Trail of Tears" or "The Trail Where They Cried". (Nanna daul Tsuny) -Tears in the Sand: The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado territory during the mid 1800's when gold and silver rushes attracted 1000's of miners. Governor John Evans relocated Cheyennes and Arapahos for white development . Evans formed a volunteer militia under Colonel John Chivington to launch a campaign of violence, attacking any and all Indians. On November 28th, 1864 the 200 or more Cheyenne Indians, adults and children, camped at Sand Creek to begin peace talks in Denver had been promised safe haven, protective custody under the US government as long as they raised a US flag. Without warning, they were attached and slaughtered. "They were scalped, their brains knocked out; the men used their knives, ripped open women, clubbed little children, knocked them in the head with their rifle butts, beat their brains out, mutilated their bodies in every sense of the word" Chivington returned to Denver a hero and is said to have scalps and pubic hair as trophies. -"The Crying Indian": In 1960 a televised commercial on the mistreatment of land campaigned for environmental protection by depicting a closeup view of a Native American with a tear running from his eye.

THE PURSUIT OF GOLD "When the soil which has he claimed and hunted over for so long a time is demanded by this to him a insatiable monster [civilization], there is not appeal; he must yield, or it will roll mercilessly over him, destroying as it advances. Destiny seems to have so willed it, and the world nods its approval." --General George Armstrong Custer from his autobiography of 1874 Gold's early associations with the source of life, the sun, leads to the belief that it was most abundant on the equator where the sun's rays were the strongest. Much of man's aggressive force was fueled by the single "commodity" of gold. Maritime expeditions set to conquer the New World encouraged wide cultural exploitation that evolved into a horrible disregard for humanity. The pillaging and devouring of natural resources caused a nihilistic behavior that stripped the 5000 year old cultures of the Maya, Mexica, Inca, and Muisca of their brilliance in one generation. It is said that population was reduced by 90% in Mexico and Peru by 1620. Conquers then turned north when the discovery of gold swept across America, displacing and destroying Native American Cultures. People thirsted for gold, money and power so that obscure fields of science, such as alchemy, were devoted to the pursuit of it. Sir Issac Newton experimented with molten metals, separating them into different materials upon cooling, one being antimony know as "infant Gold" that would sink to the bottom of the test vessel. Gold was used to set the value of money until 1971 when the "gold window" closed, ending the relationship between currency and the precious metal. Today, there exists in our global social construct with a strong attachment to the material that stems from the early invention of money and the "idea" of gold being connected to power. The value of gold, just as with other "commodities", is influenced by demand. Currently, we operate with a modern monetary system called "floating currency."

WHY SUCH DISTURBING BEHAVIOR AND ATTITUDE? "Do not lay down any rules beyond what I appointed you, and do not give a law like the lawgiver lest you be constrained by it." Jesus. The Akhmim Codex, containing portions of Gnostic texts "Gospel of Mary". Indigenous tribes, such as Native American, refer to themselves as "Human Beings". In historical documents "Human Beings" are described as "morally deficient beings"; "savages" in need of policies and rules. (Just as indigenous people world over, from the Aboriginal to the Bon Culture, were considered "uncivilized"). This imperialistic ideal, where obedience is the highest virtue, completely contradicts the admonition to "love one another". The first chapter of Genesis reinforces this thinking by describing nature as nothingness or "a formless void" and presents a story were all things are created for man to dominate. As populations are destroyed, both by the hands of man or disease, the blame is placed on an entity that allows for the continuance of selfish behavior. Exploitation is couched in a claim of "divine retribution" for the enormous sins committed by the "Human Beings". Unfortunately, some people ran with this interpretation as a key to rape the earth, using the words "God wills it" as they shattered the mental universe of whole cultures. "Guianna is a country that hath yet her maidenhood. The face of the earth hath not been torn, the graves have not yet been opened for gold. It hath never been entered by any army of strength and never conquered by a Christian prince." -- Sir Walter Raleigh

THE TURNING POINT FOR THE VALUE OF GOLD; BEAUTY TO MONEY Early Human Beings of the earth marveled gold for its physically function of beauty, the metaphor for the Divine, and its reflective qualities to illustrate the sun and the heavens. A social order existed where humanity was provided for through the barter system, trading of goods that had life value, such as barley, salt and corn. Currency was not yet a social convention. Early Greek philosophers wrote about the origin of gold and warned of the problem with the nature of money. The "Father of Greek Philosophy" Thales of Miletus (624-546BCE) believed that "all matter was water" and Plato went on to elaborate by writing that gold was the density of congealed water. In the "Republic" Plato writes about human nature, morals and justice and that in an ideal society the ruler would be a thinker, not royalty or a wealthy person. Socrates, Plato's teacher who was famed for dialogues, was sentence to death for his views that included knowledge being connected to virtue. Plato sums up his life learning in "Symposium" where the theme is love in all its aspects, the love of life over the attachment of life. In 48 BC the world's greatest archive of ancient history and literature was lost in the burning of Museum or the Royal Library of Alexandria, Egypt. The Library was a place were 100's scholars lived at the complex to conducted research, writing, translation and coping of documents. Set in a lovely setting of gardens, a zoo, and shrines for each of the nine muses, the scholars would deliver lectures of knowledge. The concept of learning was so important that another branch, a "daughter" library, was formed at the Temple of Serapis, which around 390 AD was converted into a Christian Church. Alexandria is rich in history and tension between Moslems, Christians, Jews and Pagans.

THE GOLDEN FLEECE In ancient days of mining for gold hydraulics where used to get all the specs of gold separated from the sand. Sheep skin was positioned in a way that water ran over it and the fleece would catch the tiny, but weighty, flakes of gold. The pelts were then be hung up to dry so that the "golden fleece" could be beaten to release the gold specs into a container below. -Myth and metaphor: Jason and the Argonauts search for the golden fleece; the golden ram that delivered Phrixux to safety and was than sacrificed to Zeus. The ram's pelt was then placed on a tree for Jason to find. -Material Symbolism: In 1430 Philip the Good, Duke of Burgundy formed the "Order of the Golden Fleece" to honor his wealthy domain from Flanders to Switzerland, his dignitaries got ribbons placed around their necks with a medal of the golden fleece on it.

100 TEARS IN THE DESERT; TRANSFORMATION A ceremony or performance was planned to remove myself from the original artwork as an offering; a redefinition of the art. First the glass tears where laid out randomly, but I intuitively gathered them within the circumference of a circle made with rocks. That evening we slept under the open sky with the glass tears beside us. The next morning the parchment statements from 98 tears were removed and placed into one glass tear that remained in the center. That single tear was filled with earth and water, again without much thought as to why, and enshrined with rock. We returned to Chicago with 99 empty vessels and one parchment statement reading "I felt love." I enclosed the last quote in a tiny rock formation created from prehistoric air bubbles that I had aquired from a Native American at Monument Valley.

THE CIRCLE, THE DIAMETER AND STAR SYMBOLS Walk to the well, Turn as the moon and the earth turn, circling what they love. Whatever circles comes from the center. --Rumi The installation began by placing the glass tears randomly, similar to a Zen garden which is arranged naturally by chance to symbolize refined spirituality. Enclosing the random composition with piled rocks is suggestive of many cultural impulses. The circle symbol means perfection, infinity, the eternal, without beginning or end; the inherent and continuous cycle of nature. The installation ended as a circle with a point at its center, the Diameter, formed by the single glass tear vessel held with words and enshrined with rock. The center of a circle represents the mystery of the universe, the wholeness and completeness of nature. Upon Caesar's death, Euripides expressed "in heaven you will be surrounded by perfect circles". The physical proportional geometry that originates from the circle proves accessible to the human mind in diverse regions of the world and is one of the most popular and multi-cultural symbols in the world. On the ridge above the glass tear installation, someone had laid a stone five-point star, with a bush in the center. The five equal intersecting lines make a pentagonal shape of perfect symmetry that symbolizes the perfection of nature. 1000's of years ago indigenous people charted the sky and discovered that the planet Venus traces this shape across the sky every four years. In Greek Mythology Venus is a Goddess, the Sacred Feminine, love and beauty. In the experiences of Sir Issac Newton there was a crystallized star pattern that appeared on the settled solid mass and referred to as the "star martial regulus"; which makes reference to the "morning star" that is usually the consistently bright planet Venus that we see in the mornings.

ANCIENT ART AND PRACTICE; DEVOTION Human beings have the intrinsic need to communicate ideas that touch on the mysteries of the universe; the heavens, the sky and land. Prehistoric humans coordinated their lives with an anticipation of events. They study, learned and took what was seen in their natural world and applied it conceptually in a way of life. They accepted death, afterlife and the journey there. -Stories of history are told by images throughout the world carved or painted artworks on rocks, canyon walls and caves. -Study of the rotation of planets through sundials, wheels (Medicine Wheel in Wyoming, USA) and observatories. Number configurations are applied to building, such as the pyramids of Egypt and Central America. -Honor of nature through the creation of megaliths, Stonehenge, Holy stones like Kaba at Mecca (the black stone may be meteor or lava) and stone piles like that of Hindu tradition along side roads. -Ceremony and pilgrimages to sacred sites found in nature are often natural wonders like waterfalls, cliffs, caves and canyons. -Passages to the heavenly realm through rites such as burning and burial, mounds, chambers and tombs.

MAKING ART IN THE 21ST CENTURY Artists have worked through history to expand the boundaries of the human mind, breaking the tacit barriers of social ideology. Artists of antiquity, such as Socrates, Plato, Euripides, Leonardo, and Shakespeare continued the traditon of the glorification of nature. Past artists, revealed in the writings of the Shellys, Blake, Yeats, Whitman, Emerson, Thoreau, experienced expansion while in nature, a never ending wonder to be revered. The photographs of Ansel Adams captured the feeling of the magnificence that nature provides and records of what once was but now is gone. Today artists can still expand passages of thinking, but their access to the natural world is limited, everything is mapped, altered and owned. Our 21st Century world is crowded.

OUR LAND: PUBLIC LAND The Bureau of Land Management; land of many uses Public land use welcomes logging, mining, grazing, dams, hiking, camping, rock climbing, skiing, snow boarding, snow mobiling, dirt biking, horses riding, swimming, motor boating, water skiing, jet skiing, snorkeling, deep sea diving, fishing, missile testing, waste deposal, radio towers, satellites and top security facilities.

DEFINING OUR LAND -Wilderness Area: No roads. Access by hiking or horseback only. -National Park and National Monument: Stay on the road, camping in designated areas only. Dogs have restrictions. Removal of anything is not permitted. -National Forest: "Land of many uses" Camp anywhere, dogs permitted. -National Recreation Area: Accommodates commercial services, public access -Restricted Area: Off limits to civilians

WHAT IS LITTER? "Leave no trace" and "disruption of the serene displease spirit life and spirit powers" -Logging: Clear cutting destroys the land beyond restoration for decades. It decimates the landscape, adds roads that ruin tops soil and destroys watersheds. Dry dead debris on the forest floor and new planting is careless and homogenous. Without the diversity of the natural forests, the soil loses nutrients, watersheds no longer have a natural purifier for water and air, floods and erosion increase and further contaminate our ground water. Each type of forest is an eco-system of bio diversity that supports the things that we rely on to live. -Cattle grazing: Much land is devoted to the grazing of cattle. It destroys land, river banks and leaves large deposits of waste to leach into groundwater -Dams: The harnessing and redirecting a river. Reservoirs are created to supply water demand, hydroelectricity, navigation and to control flooding. The oldest dams were constructed 4,500 years ago in Egypt and were part of the Roman and Mayan cultures in the form of aqueducts and irrigation. Once made of earth, today dams are huge concrete megastructures over four stories high. More than 60% of the worlds water has come to a halt, diverted out of their basin. The United States has 75,000 dams more than 6 feet high, some provide a worthwhile function, thousands do not. Today the dams are being questioned as the environmental and ecological impact mounts. Problems such as drained wetlands, blocked waterways that disrupted breeding habits of fish, added weight of newly created reservoirs, standing water, increased evaporation rate, drying riverbeds, decomposing flood land, massive sediment, deposited salt left behind in large quantities, our very own water wasting habits and the corporate takeover of our the water sources. -Mining: The Mining Law of 1872 allowed the extraction of precious metals from public land, for a small fee, if at all, to encourage settlers to conquer the west. In the 1980's, when gold prices soared, acidic water, cyanide-laced water, was sprayed on crushed that caused small flecks of gold to drip to the bottom of the heap. This practive became customary . The toxic brew is carried into tributaries and leaches into ground water where birds, fish, animals, humans and agriculture are put at risk. Today there are also forms of mishandling and spills of diesel fuel, mercury, nitric acid, hydraulic oil, mining wastes, and transmission fluid. The "richest hill on earth" is now gone due to Anaconda Copper Co., where speed was employed to make a few all the profits. Today modern practices threaten new damage; massive shovels scoop up loads the size of a two story house. Also a new microbe that lives in acid has been discovered. -Litter: Humans leave objects behind as waste. Garbage, such as sporting goods, oxygen tanks on mountains, pollution from automobile traffic, and petroleum runoff from boats. We have reached far into the areas that were once sacred and pristine. Mount Everest, for one example, is littered with oxygen containers abandoned without thought. -Beyond earth: We have managed to litter space with large wreckages of old satellites and abandoned stations. Today, think about it--even cemeteries struggle to define appropriate grave decorations; the use of "Grave goods" are pitted against maintenance and personal taste.

RULES AND REGULATIONS Unfettered use of our land has made preservation of real nature difficult. As an artist I have been searching to discover the "true experience of freedom" a "liberation", it is apparent that the 21st century world has more boundaries then anticipated. Physically, the world grows small, land is owned, air rights are fought for and water sources are bought. The natural human impulse to create, honor, devote and share have been squandered while other endeavors, those associated with money and the taking of natural resources, takes precedence. Also the efforts to gain pleasure, entertainment, comfort and luxury, within nature is given less restriction. I have come to believe that for the continuance of nature, the very source of our life, we must push further to protect it. I am also joining others who pushed to have more land designated as wilderness and administer annual limited access. Secondly, I believe that we should change; change our minds in how we view nature and our responsibility to it. Just as the universally symbol of the perfect circle, humanity is part of the a continuous cycle of nature. Our actions, behavior, and treatment contribute to the cycle. Currently, our habits must be examined in relation to our material needs. I am learning that the true experience of freedom is to surrender the "self" and reestablish our "needs". I am learning that our early ancestors, the Human Beings, experienced true freedom by joining the circle, contributing wisely to the cycle. Today, I have come to trust nature in the understanding that while the earth grows small, naturally another aspect is introduced that grows large.

THE PHYSICAL ALTERATION OF THE GLASS TEARS -The 99 glass tears are buried for an undetermined amount of time on private earth in New Mexico -Roman glass: A Holy glass, 2000 year old fragments of handblown glass, is excavated today in Israel, from sites that were once the cities of the Roman Empire. The Romans revolutionized glass making with the invention of glass blowing thus allowing the craft to extend to all classes rather exclusive to royalty. Shards of perfume pots, jugs, lamps, flasks, vases, cups, and bowls are uncovered and ,once cleaned, reveal an iridescent quality. The appearance is a part of the chemical reaction to the sun, water, minerals in the earth that evolve gradually over the centuries and temperature extremes, dry heat and flooding.

SIGNIFICANCE OF BURYING -The concept of burial first occurred in natural caves that were protective dark dwellings. In the Iron age artificial caves were dug into mountains so that the dead would rest in something familiar. Passage to the heavenly realm through rites, burning or burying took place in caves before temples. The angle of the sun played an important part in revealing the mystery of the unknown as a safe haven, indicating that death leads to rising again. Early sanskrit words described these "burial houses" as goba or gaebha, meaning womb, and Da gaba or Dhatu garba, meaning chamber. The stupa, mound, monument, mausoleum, tomb and temple emerged as a universal cultural symbol. The practice of burying objects and processions along side the dead was introduced to offer clues to status and to fill the journey to the afterlife with memories of earthly life. During the late ninth century, in Viking and medieval societies, deliberate burial of an object in dry or wet places as an offering; a symbol of accepting death and the eventual parting of material life. It was thought that these findings in fields and bogs were accidentally dropped by owners, but, with increased discovery of these supposedly "lost items", new conclusions of deliberate intention were obvious. In the practice of alchemy the state of being exposed to the elements was for chemical or medicinal purposes. "Inhume" is the act of burying vessels in warm earth in order to expose them or their contents to a steady, moderate heat. Today, society attempts to create an illusion of control over death rather than honoring the passage without fear. 100 Tears were buried to transform as a casting off of the old and the welcoming of what is new; symbolic of rebirth. The understanding of the wound, awareness and release of ego, was found to be easier when attached to this ritual.